9.30.20 - Making amends as part of forgiveness?

We discussed making amends whenever possible as part of the process of repentance and forgiveness. Think of Jesus' teaching that when we come to him to pray or give thanks. He suggests we first go and reconcile with our brother and then return (Matthew5: 24-25). That's because its hard to ask for God's help and wisdom on the one hand when the other hand is willfully involved in anger or conflict. This makes sense especially when its someone close, although I believe it is referring to our mindset as much as anything, meaning our willingness to let go of resentments is the prelude to fixing anything. If are willing, then the prayer door opens widely.

Part of "reconciliation" must nevertheless consider amends. In some cases, an apology is enough if it is sincere (sincerity is measured by our willingness to let go of resentments and change behavior); and sometimes it's not enough (i.e., if someone steals a car, an apology is not enough by itself - they should return the car, right?).

That being said, we m discussed that it isn't always practical (or wise) to return to the scenes of our infractions to try and repair them. For instance, the offended individuals may no longer be around: we may be impatient or rude to other drivers on the road, in which case we simply need to recognize our error, we can apologize to them through God, and then try and change our behavior. Or, we may not be nice to others at work, in which case a towne meeting to make a public apology would be overkill; just a change behavior would be most welcome and refreshing.

In the confessional, the priest usually understands all this. If Johnny confesses that he hit his sister, the priest's first concern is that Johnny recognized his error and is sorry (Johnny's willingness to confess is probably proof enough of this). For Johnny's penance, the priest may suggest that Johnny apologize to his sister, do something nice for her, and say 3 Hail Mary's. (The Hail Mary's aren't for God but for our own strength and grace.)

I realize I haven’t covered but a tiny fraction of the possible scenarios out there, but that’s partially because our ability to offend others is creatively endless. However, I'm perfectly open to more Eggs & Jesus on this topic. Feel free to jump in on this forum or via email.

Maranatha!

Ron